Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Why Cap Wins...

I was influenced by Anna...Who was influenced by Nikki...Who was influenced by.Well actually I don't know. But Im sure there was some influential malarkey going on there. Plus, I haven't got this tagging business down.

1. I'm the best hypocrite alive. - For example:

- iPhones are for tools. You're in most cases a terrible human being if you have one.

I have an iPhone. And it's fucking amazing. I can order random takeout with it and hear random Mr T soundbytes that aren't really relevant to anything. Plus, I recently got a girls number and got a map to her house in the same conversation. Can your phone do that? CAN IT?!

I have no qualms about setting rules that only I can break.

2. I amuse myself. A lot - I think stupid things are funny. Like the word "nipple" (You don't know how much i'm laughing as I type this. I think voice boxing the solo to stairway to heaven is sweet....So is going "You could say it was a bridge too far" when a really dry singer can't hit the notes in the bridge of a song. Fnah nyah nyah.

3. I'm a regular Renaissance Man. Seriously. - I don't care if that makes me sound sucked into my own anus. It's true.

How many people do you know who can do all of the following?

1. Play 5 Musical Instruments. As well as read and write music.
2. Beast at sports.
3. Be one of the best IN THE WORLD at a video game
4. Write well.
5. Draw well.
6. Drop knowledge like it can't be carried.
7. Put Academics on smash.
8. Make funnies.
9. Stay as cool as the Cheetos Cheetah. "THERE IS NO FUCKING DRUMMER BETTER THAN NEIL PEART" (Cookie for reference)
10. Pick up the womens with really stupid lines like "How do you feel about Cliches?"

4. I'm idolised by my brothers. - Do you know epic it is to hear "Watch when I get my brother to beat you up." It's like being told you're god... or "You'll be upgraded to Business class sir"

5. I have a young face. - Do you know how fucking sweet that is? I hear you think "You probably can't get into 18 cert films or buy porn". I have ID and a card that says, "I've done the following"

- Played face trade off solo's with the following: Buckethead, Dimebag, Hendrix, King, Guy and Morello.
- Saved the white rhino from extinction.
- Punched Jake Gyllenhaal, Clive Owen and Chris Tucker in the face.
- Beaten Neo at Table tennis.

Plus..Have you ever seen the face of someone with grey hair getting schooled by someone who looks young enough to be their grandson?

I apologise for not linking anyone...It's hard.

Thanks for reading.


  1. Linking people is not hard you dome head. And I tagged you in my original tag which technically means you aren't copying anyone so how do you like them apples??

  2. I finished reading your post now and I have decided that I would like to marry a Reaissance Man some day so if you know any in my neck of the woods or plan on moving here call me. Not really, please don't do that.

  3. Not Jake's face. His beautiful, beautiful face. You monster.

    Nikki, I am Mrs Cap (e-version), so no, he can't.

    And linking people is something I have already explained to you. You nipple.

    Hehehe. Nipple. BaaPhone nipple.

    Nipple to this post. In a good way, because I liked it.

  4. Anna and Cap sittin in a tree... You two are lovers I just know it. Speaking of Scotland, I just watched Bear Gryls survive in the Scottish Highlands last night! It made me want to visit.

  5. We just e-tolerate each other.

    You should come over!

  6. To your e-house or to Scotland? LoL. I will probably visit Scotland when I head over to Europe. I am visiting family in Italy so I might as well hop a plane North right? Anyways, when I make that trip I will make sure to ask you where I should visit.

    We totally just took over Cap's comments. He's gonna be all OMG I have 6 comments and then its just us yapping back and forth. False sense of coolness headed his way.

  7. Hey, he just gave us a place to chat. Not our fault we took him up on it.
    Defintely come to Scotland if you're going to Italy. It's only a 2 and a half hour flight. I've been to Italy twice and am hopefully going back this year. Best country ever.

  8. Nikki - Considering I have 4 followers..Why would I have a false sense of coolness? Plus, Master Of The Universe? I kinda forsaw it.

    You, Miss Nikki are a bag of milk for calling me a domehead (You're a liar and a republican if you didn't just try to picture a bag of milk)If you did want to marry me, You'll have to get past Scottie. who is quite scary and a bit of a maniac.

    What apples? I see no fruit. Damn Yanks! with your apples and your gas and your high schools and bottom schools and uncle sam or tom or whatever he's called.

    Anna -telling my guests my bidness! and you e-tolerate me. I pretty much e-hate you. Apart from when you're ranting and artsy. I hate you less. You're such an italy fanboy. Yuppie.

    If you two do have a gathering, I'll sit on my cloud and laugh..Because girls talk about nothing..As evident in the takeover in my comments section.

    and don't tell me who I can or can't marry. I'll do who I want. Don't make me zap your arms short again.

  9. Cap, there will be no e-marrying of anyone else. Don't make me go tartan on your ass.
    And I'm not allowed to, so no double standards.
    You don't hate me, you love me. You just hide it well.
    Also, that was mean.

  10. Sounds like Cap wants to go to Italy to me. I could be wrong but then I would have to kill someone. I thought you had to live in the North to be a Yank? And I am not a bag of milk so shut up or I will give YOU cherpes. I might give you cherpes anyways for not reading my blog!

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